I bet you think you’re going to have chicks all over you when you get that fast and flashy supercar, right? Wrong! A lot of men have no idea what kind of cars girls really like. So, I’m going to fill you all in on a little secret, having the most extravagant street cruiser isn’t going to win over the ladies. But, then again, neither is an underpowered half-electric with so little storage space that my handbag won’t even fit inside.
At the end of the day, the kind of car you drive shows a bit of your personality, and driving the wrong one might have women running the opposite way. So, listen up! Here are the 9 cars girls hate, and an honorable mention. Let’s go!
Alfa Romeo 4C
The Alfa 4C is definitely one of the top cars that women can’t stand. This is the epitome of a car that guys think is super cool, and women just don’t even want to look at. Seriously, the body design is like the car equivalent of challenging someone to a push-up contest. It’s just so over-the-top flashy that it sends a clear message that you’re compensating for some major insecurities.
Plus, if you’ve ever driven in a 4C, you’ll see that they’re equally as rough to ride in as they are to look at. Inside the cabin, the jet engine-like decibels of sound due to lack of insulation make it so you can barely talk to whoever’s riding shotgun. And the blind spots in the 4C are huge. It’s like you could have a pack of lions chasing down your car and not even see them.
The Alfa 4C is just all-around awful. For how bad the 4C is, it’s still not quite as fugly as this next car.
Toyota Supra
Okay, let me just say that when they were making the Toyota Supra, there is absolutely no way that they had a single woman in the design room. Only a bunch of boys with no taste whatsoever could have come up with such a hideous thing. I’m talking mostly about the 4th generation, which gives off the vibe that it’s a hand-me-down that belongs to a 17-year-old with that extremely stupid-looking spoiler on the back.
The 2nd and 3rd generations are a whole lot better looking, I will admit. They kind of have that classic Delorean-style design language. And the 2020 Toyota Supra is a pretty cool-looking sports car, all things considered.
But that 4th generation… what were they thinking? I hope Toyota learned their lesson that you need a woman’s touch at least when it comes body design. Hopefully they’ll never produce another atrocity like the super-ugly, super-bro 4th generation Supra.
But, if you want to talk bro culture, this next car is the Holy Grail of hypermasculinity.
Hummer
If you didn’t know this car was going to be on this list, it’s probably because you either own a Hummer or are thinking about getting one. Don’t do it! No woman in the history of time has ever been happy to be riding shotgun in a Hummer. And no woman has ever seen a guy driving a Hummer and said, “Wow, I bet he’s super secure with his masculinity.”
Nope, Hummers are overbearing, overaggressive, and are basically a beacon to the world that you’re overcompensating for something. Not to mention the fact that they get like 10 miles to the gallon and are extremely difficult to drive. Hummers are just the peak of impracticality.
Notice how I didn’t specify which Hummer? That’s because it doesn’t matter. They’re all equally awful and universally appalling to women.
While this next car might give you better chances with a girl than a Hummer. You might go up in flames if you drive a Dodge Neon, literally.
Dodge Neon
Dodge has had a few major failure over the company’s history, and the Neon sits right at the top of that list. To be extremely specific, the 2005 Dodge Neon is quite possibly one of the worst cars ever made, and an absolute repellent to women.
They had to do a recall on the 2005 Neon engines because the carburetors would ignite and literally explode, sending a column of fire up out of your hood. Forget just women hating this car, everyone should run for the hills when they see a 2005 Dodge Neon.
And despite being a death trap, the Neon is pretty unattractive as well. The body looks like they left it in the wind tunnel too long, the spoiler on the back looks exceptionally dumb, and that unbelievably low ground clearance looks trashy and makes it so you could bottom out a golf ball.
The only thing that would make this car uglier is if they actually painted it only neon colors. I guess they got that one right, but pretty much everything else wrong.
Yet a car that may still be even more unappealing to women is the super douchey meathead machismo machine that’s up next.
Lotus Exige
When you’re a kid, playing with Hot Wheels is totally cool. But, at a certain point, you’ve got to outgrow your old toys. The Lotus Exige is exactly the kind of over stylized exotic sports car that guys think is super sick, but looks like a sure-fire sign of immaturity to women.
Trust me, if you’re a guy and you think you’re going to impress any girls by pulling up in your Exige, you’re wrong, unless they’re gold diggers, that is, because these cars do look like they cost a whole lot, even if they’re flashy and classless.
Plus, there are some major flaws with the Exige’s design. The narrow door slots make it so you have to be as flexible and as small as a cat to get in, and the seats are about as comfortable as sitting on jagged rocks. And why on Earth would they put a supercharger right behind the passenger’s head?
If you’re going to spend all that money on a Lotus Exige, why not get something without so many glaring design flaws? And something that isn’t so repulsive to women?
While over-the-top sports cars are a bad way to impress a woman, so too are underpowered little snowballs like the Chevy Spark.
Chevrolet Spark
So far I’ve told you about a whole lot of cars that are overaggressive, over-the-top, and clear-cut signs of overcompensation. But, at the end of the day, women also aren’t impressed by quiet-as-a-mouse toy cars with under 100 horsepower.
Even the newest 2020 Spark has a wimpy 98 horses coming from its scrawny 1.4-liter 4-cylinder. As a matter of fact, this little subcompact feels like it struggles to get its wheels turning at all! And the interior is equally as depressing as that unattractive exterior and lackluster engine. The whole cabin feels clunky, and it’s just straight-up not comfortable to drive.
The best way to ruin a date is for a woman to get in your car and immediately feel like she’s sitting on sheetrock. Chevy Spark? More like Chevy “Any Spark That Was There Is Now Gone Because Your Car Is Puny And Painful”.
And us women aren’t that shallow that the car he drives is a dealbreaker, but buying this next car is defintiely a major red flag and a sign of less-than-great taste.
Kia Soul
I’m sorry, I don’t care how great of a deal you got on that used 2017 Kia Soul, you should have gone with a Volkswagen Jetta or a Mazda3. You know, a car that’s not in the running for all-time most hideous.
Why on Earth would Kia choose to take a cardboard box and slap four wheels on it? Your guess is as good as mine. But I can tell you with absolute certainty, women are not into it.
Okay, okay, it gets some points for low MSRP value and good fuel efficiency, but all of those points are lost with just one look at the exterior. And come on, how am I supposed to take a car seriously when the advertisements show that the only people driving them aren’t people at all! They’re hamsters! I guess Kia was trying to come up with a quirky commercial for a quirky-looking car. But, in my opinion, and the opinion of a lot of other girls, the Kia Soul is just plain weird.
If you do have a Kia Soul, though, you probably got it for cheap, unlike this next car, which guys spend tons of money on because they think it’s going to impress the ladies. Wrong!
Lamborghini Huracan
While you might be motivated to get yourself a six-figure supercar because you think it’ll look good on your Tinder profile, I’d hold off on emptying your bank account into a brand new Lamborghini Huracan, which is retailing at just over $212,000 MRSP. Sure, driving a Huracan, or just a Lambo in general, shows that you got some serious money in the bank. And women like money just as much as men do. But the Lamborghini Huracan might be the worst of the worst when it comes to desperate-to-impress syndrome.
It really just sends the message that you need everyone to know how much money you have. You’re better off going with something with a bit more class, like an Audi R8 V10 that costs less and has comparable horsepower. Oh, yeah, and it doesn’t make women assume you’re conceited.
This next car doesn’t won’t make people assume that there’s a douche in the driver’s seat, but it’s probably going to leave most women thoroughly unimpressed.
Smart ForTwo
Alright, first of all, it’s very commendable that you want to help save the planet and drive a hybrid or an EV. But, let’s be honest, there’s a big difference between a Smart ForTwo and a Tesla Model S. One of them can hit 250 miles per hour and revs up over 500 horsepower, while the other has 89 horsepower and can’t hit 100 miles per hour if you floor it down a mountain.
There’s just no other way to say it: the Smart ForTwo is for people get cut in line and don’t say anything about it, or are too afraid to tell their mom about their new girlfriend. It’s weak. The upside for the ForTwo is obviously it’s fuel economy and relatively low price, but just know that if you drive one of these, you might hear girls giggling at you wherever you go.
Honorable Mention: Ford Transit
So, the Ford Transit is our honorable mention because it’s more of a full-blown van than it is a car. But driving one of these, especially if it’s a white one with no decals or logos painted on the side, is a horrifyingly creepy sight for any woman.
Driving a white Ford Transit basically sends the message that you want to remain anonymous so no one can identify you to the police, and you need lots of storage space for… well, I’ll just let you guys use your imaginations.
If you have a Ford Transit and you’re thinking, What? I thought women would love how dependable and spacious my ride is! You probably should’ve gone with something a little bit smaller, and a whole lot less creepy. While the 4th generation Ford Transits are considerably more stylish and definitely give off less “creepy van dude” vibes than earlier generations. But, even if you get a new Ford Transit, you’re still going to be scaring women up and down the block.
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