We all hate tickets. You know the classics. Speeding. Racing. Air fresheners? That’s right, if you’re not paying attention to the laws in your state, you could get busted for almost anything. Even features your car came with from the factory!
But we’re here to save you the trouble, and keep your permanent record squeaky clean. You know what isn’t illegal yet? Subscribing to Ideal Media, so got to our YouTube channel and smash that subscribe button and let’s fight these tickets.
Number one with a bullet has got to be loud exhaust.
Exhaust Mods – RIP Headphone Users
We car enthusiasts love a screaming straight pipe. The roar of a V8, the whine of a supercharger, the backfire of an anti-lag system. Music to my ears. What isn’t a sound you want to hear is the police pulling you over for your loud ass cat-back. As a general rule of thumb, you want to stick to around 95 decibels or lower, which is about as loud as a lawn mower.
But definitely check your local laws, because in some states, anything louder than stock will get you a fine, including here in Washington. Crap. One solution, which is still illegal in most states, is an electric exhaust cutout, so you can scream when you need to and keep it low key when you’re near Johnny law. Some cars, like the C7 Corvette, even come with similar tech called Mild to Wild from the factory. Sounds like a good time!
So, keeping your car quiet is probably a safe way to avoid getting a set of red and blue lights in the rear view. And you may think another smart way to avoid getting a ticket is a radar detector, but you’d be dead wrong.
Radar Detectors/Jammers – Criminal Countermeasures
Not only are radar detectors illegal in many states, and radar jammers illegal nationwide, but they’re damn near useless now! Back in the 80’s, there weren’t very many radar signals for a detector to pick up, but these days with every new car coming with automatic lane assists, automatic cruise control, parking sensors, you’ll think your radar detector is R2D2 with how many dings and whistles it’ll be throwing at you.
So, skip the boy who cried wolf. Or the boy who cried cop? Use services like Waze, which is one of our favorites, to help you spot areas being patrolled by cops. Or, you know, don’t drive so fast. That’s a good one.
Now, you may want to slam your ride to “fly under the radar”. But if you live in some states that’s about the easiest way to fly right into a fix-it ticket.
Suspension Mods – Ride Right, or Else
One of the first things I do to any car is change the ride height. Either lowering a sports car, or lifting my 4x4s. It’s one of the easiest ways to stand out, but if I drove my Land Rover through Georgia with its 3-inch lift, I could be facing a huge fine!
Want to slam your ride? You could be getting a major ticket. I mean, it might be worth it though, right? This is just yet another reason that air suspension is the future, you guys. And I don’t know about you, but that slammed look is growing on me.
Alright, so those are a little obvious. Mods that probably make your car a little less safe on the road should be illegal, right? What you might be surprised to learn is that some safety features designed to make the streets safer are actually banned in the States. Luxury European brands are always pushing the boundaries for next-gen safety features, and BMW is often at the head of the class. But, two features they’ve pioneered across the pond have been shunned by American lawmakers.
Dynamic Lighting – Blinded By The Light
First, you’ve got “dynamic light spot“. Driving down a dark country road at night is dangerous, and even more dangerous is walking down it! But you see it all the time! Where the hell are those people going? Anyway, BMW intended to fix this problem with an automatic spotlight that tracks pedestrians so the driver can avoid them.
But this is America, and we can’t have nice things here. This kind of tech, as well as BMW’s dynamic high beam system, which dims areas of the headlight to avoid blinding other drivers, are not available in the States due to outdated rulebooks, and our distrust of cybernetic overlords. I wonder where that came from…
We’ve got to stop living in the dark ages, people! Another factory car feature that could potentially land you in hot water? Giving your car a remote start!
Remote Start – We Don’t Trust Robots
While the technology is technically legal, in many states, it’s actually illegal to use remote starts the way most people do. Hitting the remote start from the kitchen while you get ready for work to warm up the car is actually considered criminal in some states.
You’re not allowed to have your car running without a babysitter! Who wants to remote start a car they’re sitting in? That’s like plugging in your wireless headphones! Luckily, this is one of those laws that’s just about impossible to enforce. But don’t say we didn’t warn you!
Off-Road Lighting – Are You Wearing Protection?
Now, ever since I played Super Off Road on the NES, I basically assume no truck is really an off-road truck unless it has some big yellow KC HiLiTES shining from the roof rack. And seeing them on the street, they always had those cool yellow caps over them, which I assumed were for protection, but are actually holsters for the deadly weapons those lights can be.
See, it’s illegal to drive around with uncovered off-road lighting equipment, even if they’re off! Johnny law isn’t trusting that you won’t use them to blind the slowpoke in the left lane. And while you have to cover your lights up front, be careful covering up that license plate too.
License Plate Mods – I Was Framed!
If you’re driving in North Carolina, even putting a frame around your plate can get you pulled over! And don’t even think about getting one of those electronic license plate covers that mask your plate so you can run red lights. Wait, why the hell are you buying those anyway? You plan to run red lights?
Oh, and those retractable license plate holders. Come on. What kind of jackass are you? Probably the kind of jackass guilty of this next mod.
Rolling Coal – You’re the Worst Person Ever
This one hits me personally. I used to daily drive a Japanese sports car in a town of country boys, and regularly some giant lifted turbo diesel would dump a cloud of black death into my window. I probably have cancer now. Dumping a cloud of black smoke may impress your high school friends, but it’s rude, it’s terrible for the environment, and thankfully it’s super illegal!
So, keep your truck running right, and keep the smoke burning white! Now, if you watched the early Fast and Furious movies, you’d have assumed every single car on the road had a tank of nitrous in it.
Nitrous Oxide – Fast and Furious and Illegal
Just press a button and instantly you’re launched into hyperdrive. Street racers in those movies were dumping more NOS than all the dentist offices combined! But that was all just movie magic, because even buying NOS in some states is extremely difficult and super illegal.
In Ohio, you have to sign a form when you buy nitrous and your name is kept on a registry to track who you are! That’s almost more difficult than buying a gun.
Okay, so NOS isn’t a crime you’re probably committing. One that a lot of us are guilty of, though, is smelling nice. That’s right, air fresheners and other items hanging from your rearview mirrors are actually illegal in many places!
Air Fresheners – Smells Like Crime
This just sounds ridiculous. Who doesn’t love those happy little trees? They’re iconic, but they block your view of the road. Same with your Mardi Gras beads, your college grad tassel, and definitely your fuzzy dice.
Now, the biggest crime on this list… is reading this entire article and not subscribing to our YouTube channel. You monster! Head on over, enjoy a few videos, and keep living the Ideal lifestyle!
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